IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
18 Jun 24, 20:13
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The essay addresses the question and provides a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of high government spending on disaster relief. However, there are several grammatical errors and issues with coherence and cohesion that affect readability and clarity.

Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors37
Grammatical range and accuracy5
Lexical resource26
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response3
Question
High government spending on disaster relief is crucial for effective response and recovery. Yet, it may lead to decreased funding for other essential services and potential waste or mismanagement of resources.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of high government spending on disaster relief.
#Government Spending
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:337
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
In recent times, government
authorities
around the
world
are increasing their budgets for
disaster
management
, as
world
is witnessing increased volume of natural
calmities
like earthquakes and landslides. This action is necessary to maintain
high
standards of effective
response
and
recovery
, however,
this would lead to decreased funding for
other
services
such as waste
management
, or even mismanagement of national funds. In my opinion,
higher
governemental
budget
allocation
towards relief fund is important, and the advantages of this measure
outweight
the
disadvanatges
.
On the one side, excessive money diverted towards
response
and
recovery
taskforces would lead to deductions of the
resources
for
other
essential
services
. For instance, in a
country
like Sweden, where possibility of earthquakes and landslides is low, the
allocation
of
resource
towards relief taskforce would
deprieve
other
facilities from funding. As a result, essential
services
would come under immense pressure due to the lack of required assets and
investment
. Therefore, instead of blind
investment
in catastrophe operations,
authorities
should
priortize
the need of the nation and plan the financial blueprint accordingly.
On the
otherside
, a
country
should always be prepared to handle any natural
disaster
that might create
havoc, thus,
adequate
resources
are
needed
for quick
response
teams. For instance,
countries
like Japan and South Korea have
high
probability to be hit by tsunami, so national
authorities
always
need
to be ready to
safequard
and recover their citizen those who might get stuck in dangerous and unsafe surroundings. Therefore, it would be wise and smart for these nations to be prepared for any
disaster
that might put the safety and lives of their citizens in
danger
rather than having inadequate
resource
and assets to handle the catastrophe.
In conclusion, unplanned and extensive
investment
in
disaster
management
might put the basic
services
under pressure because of lack of
appropiate
capital
needed
for quick
response
and
recovery
. However, for
countries
that are located in the
accident prone
areas, it is wise to be prepared by maintain
world
class
response
team through extensive budgeting and money
allocations
.