IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6.5

6.5
Overall Score
26 Jun 24, 21:06
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The essay addresses the question well, providing reasons for reliance on imported food and suggesting solutions. However, there are grammatical errors and some awkward phrasing that affect clarity. The essay is coherent and cohesive, but could benefit from more varied vocabulary and more detailed examples.

Overall score6.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors24
Grammatical range and accuracy7
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response3
Question
Many countries rely heavily on imported food, which can be unsustainable and risky.
What factors contribute to a heavy reliance on imported food, and what can be done to encourage more local food production?
#Food
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:333
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
In our globalized world, where countries
are depend
on each other to
fulfill
their needs, many
nations
heavily rely on importing
food
to meet the requirement. This is due to the unsuitable
climate
conditions for farming in certain countries. The government can promote local
farmers
by
providing
them with advanced technologies to address
unfavorable
climate
and by offering tax rebates.
To begin with, there are
nations
situated in areas with harsh atmosphere, thus
making
it difficult to produce crops. For instance, regions like Greenland have cold weather that
makes
it unsuitable for growing crops. Therefore, the
authorities has
to import
food
products from foreign markets to
fulfill
the demands of the local population. In addition to this, the severe
climate
makes
it difficult for
farmers
to sustain their yield, as there is inadequate infrastructure, such as irrigation systems and storage facilities. Hence, the production of
food
is complicated and even impossible in some regions of the globe due to the atmosphere and produce requirements are
meet
through
international
market.
However, the authorities can
provide
advanced agriculture technologies along with tax benefits to promote domestic producers. There have been many advancements in the field of sciences that can help
farmers
to grow corn and wheat in hot and cold
climates
. Therefore, the government should encourage
farmers
to adopt these innovations by
providing
them at a discounted price, so that more and more producers can equip
themeselves
with these machineries and equipment. Moreover, reducing or removing sales tax on locally produced
foods
can further motivate the cultivators to increase their production. As a result of both of these steps, the economy would depend less on foreign markets and more on domestic producers.
In conclusion, the geographical location of certain
nations
make
it difficult for cultivators to yield, thus dependence on other
nations
is increased. To address the issue,
government
can play a vital role by
providing
equipment and facilities at
a reduced rates
, along with reducing or omitting sale tax on locally manufactured
food
products.