IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
19 Jul 24, 01:31
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The essay provides a clear opinion and relevant examples, but it contains numerous grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Coherence and cohesion are generally good, but some ideas could be more logically developed and connected.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors39
Grammatical range and accuracy13
Lexical resource19
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Music is a universal form of entertainment known to have profound effects on emotions and mental health. Many believe that listening to music can significantly uplift one's mood and emotional well-being.
To what extent do you agree or disagree that music has a positive impact on emotional health?
#Entertainment
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:353
Paragraphs:7
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
In my opinion music is an
acestral
spiritual relief and, thus, beneficial to emotional health.
I believe every art is a form of abstract
commuinication
that words
cant't
fit. A simple song may impact
others views
by enticing the collective eyes to formulate their opinions on the author's motivation. Music conveys not only a melody moulded by different
sounds
, but also the soul of the composer, its troubles, pleasures, critiques and more. In this way, the tune displays an essential motif to
ones
comfort since the storm of emotion can slow down with the knowledge their ideas are being exhibited and noticed through the
listeners
heart
.
In fact, the creation of music connects the whole word into a
synphony
as each individual can relate to the
songs
meaning
no
matter where they live or
language
they speak. It also helps communities
getting
closer using dance in
goups
or pairs to
following
the
rythm
. In summary, exchanging music makes life extraordinarily mood uplifting.
Everyone can
benifict
from listening to music because it produces positive brain activity. For example, a person suffering from depression and anxiety, will feel better when hearing their
favorite
band. Or when
atlethe
gets a boost of
energy
hearing powerful drums. In the cinema, viewers get excited when hearing different
sounds
throughout the film, showing how complex our minds can be in various situations.
It's
no doubt that spas and yoga rooms use calm
sounds
to relax their clients, hence making them
aproach
easily the spiritual realm.
Of course,
theres
also
sound
in commercials and alarm clocks.
However
the meaning is to convey a message of alert and hurrying
iminient
action to buy products as a profit increasing
method- not
necesseraly
about your well-being.
Besides, not every music will make you fell happy. To illustrate, a singer exploring her past relationship will reveal agony and fear, therefore enclose
l
brain in a protective state. Nevertheless, all emotions are natural and learning to control them is essential to maturity.
In conclusion, music is food for new thoughts, an illustrative showcase of flow, helping you to develop emotionally well.