IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
22 Jun 24, 23:02
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in task response and coherence. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but contain errors and lack variety. More examples and a clearer thesis statement would improve the essay.
Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors32
Grammatical range and accuracy10
Lexical resource15
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
In the fast-paced modern world, maintaining cultural traditions can be challenging, especially among younger generations who may feel disconnected from their cultural roots.
What challenges are faced in maintaining cultural traditions and how can these traditions be kept alive among younger generations?
#Culture
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:329
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
In modern society,
following
traditional
values
and traditions is becoming a challenge for
younger
generation
, as they feel disconnected from their
roots
. This is due to the busy work
lifestyle
people
are
following
nowadays to achieve successful professional career.
Elders
can play
vital
role in addressing the issue by teaching and guiding the
younger
memebers
of the family about
heritage
and culture
values
.
To begin with, the upcoming
generation
is more worried about their professional
success, thus
they divert more
time
to work rather than understanding the moral and
heritage
upon which their nation and religion are built. Individuals spend their personal
time
in offices or running businesses, and as a
result
they focus significantly less on
elders
teaching about their
heritage
. For instance, more
people
and children used to go to the churches or temples in the past, but now the number has decreased because
people
have other priorities such as work and school. Therefore, due to the busy
lifestyle
and other commitments, less
time
is
spend
connecting with the cultural traditions and learning about
rich
history of the religions.
To solve this issue, the older
generation
needs to motivate and include
younger
people
while celebrating the customs they
follow
. A little push is needed to encourage kids
start
following
some
traditional
practices. For instance, families must sit for dinner together and make the
younger
members say a prayer before
starting
the meal. In addition to this, old
memebers
of the society can
start
holding weekly seminars to guide and provide information to the children about the rich
heritage
and customs their nation holds. As a result, kids would feel more connected to their
roots
, as they get informed about the
traditional
values
and customs.
To conclude,
modern
lifestyle
has played
big
role in disconnecting the youth from the
roots
they belong to because today
people
have prioritized personal success and growth. However,
elders
can solve this problem through motivating and encouraging the
young
members through small steps.

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