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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
19 Mar 25, 16:07
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task but lacks clarity and coherence, with several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, and the argument could be more logically developed with clearer examples.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors14
Grammatical range and accuracy2
Lexical resource5
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4

Writing Task

#Health
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Health education in schools can play a crucial role in forming healthy habits early. However, its implementation and curriculum content can sometimes be controversial.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of health education in schools.

Submitted Answer

Words279|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
In modern epoch, the issue of health education has always been a public interest. It could be obviously witnessed a phenomenon that society required
school
to build the healthy habits for teenagers rather than their family . Despite recognizing the merits and drawbacks behind this phenomenon, I am confident to believe it contains more advantage.
All too often, we have seen and continue to see news about high
school
children fell in to drug problems, as a reason of parents were lack of time to safeguard their kids for whole day. Health teaching at
institution
is more vital. Since as a child, the social circle they build is based on the environment of
schools
, what academies teach them can be repeated and talked for weeks. The social environment is like a dye vat, it can change things in them quickly, no matter the correctness.
Many argue that the costs of letting teachers focus on the healthy habits are too high, individuals have limited time and energy, the first priority thing in academy is studying rather than building the healthy lifestyles. Teachers will get confused if they are multiple tasks for them to carry out, which might lead to a lose-lose situation.
The formation of a positive lifestyle cannot be done only by the parents. Education institutions have advanced influence on this. We
can't
afford to let our next generations have an unhealthy condition. Because nothing in the world is more valuable than health. Therefore,
althought
teachers will have more pressure when they need to focus on both the health and knowledge of children, the positive effects of performing health teaching at
school
continue to outweigh the negative effects.

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