IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
30 Jul 24, 06:24
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the topic but lacks clear structure and detailed examples. Grammar and coherence need improvement, and the task response could be more comprehensive. Vocabulary usage is adequate but could be more varied.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 27 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 10 | |
| Lexical resource | 10 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
In many legal systems around the world, rehabilitation is considered a primary goal of the criminal justice system. This approach focuses on helping offenders reintegrate into society rather than solely punishing them. However, there are debates about its effectiveness and possible alternatives.
How effective do you think rehabilitation is in the criminal justice system, and what other alternatives could be considered for punishing offenders?
#Criminal Justice
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:282
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
we pursuit
modern solutions to every problems
we encounter. It reflects to
the punishment processes for sure. As human beings, understanding each other is quite crucial, both for analyzing
our friends and cruel people. For this reason, I am going to consider the effectiveness of the rehabilitation in the criminal justice system in this essay.Firstly, rehabilitation is such an expended approach and method during the punishment period. It is significant to remember that why
is the criminal
sentenced to be punished, who is he/she, personal background, the environment he/she grew up and
where the criminal committed the crime. As soon as these questions' answers combined, it will be appropiate
to determine whether the rehabilitation is required or not.As
it's
known, taking someone away from their freedom is the cornerstone of the entire punishments
since we are social based
creatures. Therefore, to try
to analyze
a criminal's mind would help for finding the reasons why he/she has done it. Talking to them in logical manners and showing the decent
paths to them can contribute new behaviours if they will get out of the prison someday. Besides, this learning method isn't
only effective for rehabilitating them but also developing the criminalization discipline and preventing the potential crimes in the future. Shortly, there are some advantages when it is applied; such as socialization in the prison, making them figure their fault out and after their deportion
.Lastly, teaching them what they could have achieved without breaking the law can be a functional
approachment
in terms of what they have missed. Some sincere talks might not always help but reaching their reasons and making them