IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7

IELTS Essay Sample Band 7

7.0
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25 Jul 24, 13:01
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The essay addresses the question well, providing reasons and problems associated with rural to urban migration. However, there are some grammatical errors and the cohesion could be improved for better readability.

Overall score7.0
Grammatical range and accuracy7.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors17
Grammatical range and accuracy3
Lexical resource7
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response3
Question
In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas.
Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?
#Society
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:275
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
In many societies, individuals are
rellocating
from villages and
moving
towards
cities
for various reasons. This essay examines the causes for this, and explores the issues associated with this trend.
The most common reason why individuals choose to
move
from rural to
urban
areas, is the hope that there are
better
job opportunities in the
cities
. For example, there may less job opportunities in small towns, compared to a
city
, and higher salary rates . So, people decide to
move
to
urban
areas for
more
options and
better
pay. The main problem associated with this trend, is that, the cost of living in the
cities
tends to be quite high compared to the smaller towns. Therefore, once these individuals make their move, they may discover that their financial expectations may be far-fetched.
Another reason why people
move
from rural to
urban
areas is for a
better
way of life for their family, for instance,
cities
may offer
better
schools,
more
recreational options, as well as
better
housing. However, issues may arise
, because
, despite all these amenities, the family misses out on the sense of community offered by smaller towns. There is also the possibility that their children will lose their sense of belonging and cultural
affiliation
as the
city
tends to be multicultural.
This trend of
moving
towards the
cities
can offer positive and negative benefits, as the promise of a "
better
life" may come at a price of adjusting culturally as well as financially. As
more
and
more
people consider making the move from rural to
urban
life, it is important that they conduct the right research prior to weigh the pros and cons.