IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6.5

6.5
Overall Score
08 Jul 24, 05:54
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The essay provides a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping for businesses, with clear points and examples. However, there are several grammatical errors and some awkward phrasing that affect readability and coherence.

Overall score6.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors26
Grammatical range and accuracy12
Lexical resource8
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response3
Question
In recent years, online shopping has become increasingly popular, enabling consumers to purchase goods and services from the comfort of their homes. This trend has significantly influenced the way businesses operate.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping for businesses.
#Business & Money
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:342
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
In
last
decade, e-commerce has surged in popularity among
business
operators, as it provides enormous opportunities for reaching
wider
consumer
base and decreasing the operating
cost
. However, there are downsides to integrating digital platform in
businesses
, such as higher cyber risks and continuous upgrading
costs
. This essay will further elaborate on the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping for
businesses
.
To begin with, online platforms like Amazon help the producers access a
broder
consumer
base while also reducing the regular operating
cost
. Online shopping websites
enables
business
to cater
customers
outside of
domestic
market, thus providing an opportunity to sell products at national and international levels. Moreover, this allows the
businesses
to tap into the untouched and diverse markets, increasing the potential buyer base and boosting sales revenue. As a result,
companies
can also get insights into international buyer preferences and trends, which can further enhance their global recognition. In addition to this, as a commerce grows digitally, the operating expenses
decreases
since owners are not obliged to maintain retail stores. Therefore, this deduction in overhead expenditure allows
companies
to allocate more resources
towords
marketing, product development, and enhancing online customer experience.
However, digital presence comes along with the threats of
cyber attacks
and regular expenses of updating technology. In recent times, many websites have fallen victim to hackers, resulting in the leakage of personal and private information of the
companies
and
consumers
. Additionally, to maintain a highly secure digital site and defend these
cyber attacks
,
companies
have to regularly invest significant money in technologies and cybersecurity measures. Consequently, small operators fail to maintain their
website
, thus losing in competition and losing their
consumers
to larger entities with more stable and secure
sities
.
To conclude, e-commerce is the future of trading, offering the pathway to global market while significantly reducing the fixed
cost
. But, like any other technology, it also presents disadvantages, such as the risk of information theft and constant need for updates at the
owner
expense. Balancing the merits and demerits is crucial for any
company
to thrive.