IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 7.5

7.5
Overall Score
20 Aug 24, 12:59
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Overall Feedback

The essay is well-structured and addresses both sides of the argument effectively, with a clear personal opinion. The grammar and vocabulary are strong, but the essay could benefit from more varied examples and slightly improved coherence in transitions.

Overall score7.5
Grammatical range and accuracy9.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion8.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors17
Grammatical range and accuracy0
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response3
Question
Some people think that the government should fund creative people such as artists and musicians due to the benefits they provide to society, other people believe that as they enjoy their work they should have received no government funding.
Discuss both sides.
#Government Spending
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:US English
Words:351
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
In contemporary
society
, the discourse surrounding the
government
's role in financing the
creative
arts
has grown increasingly contentious. Advocates argue that
artists
and musicians merit
financial
backing owing to the significant advantages they provide to
society
. Conversely, critics maintain that the enjoyment and fulfillment these individuals derive from their vocation diminish the necessity for
public
funding. I assert that
government
support for the
creative
arts
is crucial, as the
societal
benefits considerably overshadow the argument for personal satisfaction.
Proponents of
public
funding argue that
creative
individuals contribute immensely to
society
through
cultural
enrichment, social cohesion, and economic advancement.
Art
is not merely a source of personal gratification; it plays a vital role in preserving
cultural
heritage and serving as a catalyst for
societal
advancement. For example,
government
-sponsored
public
art
initiatives can invigorate communities, strengthen social bonds, and stimulate local economies through increased tourism. Hence, investing in the
arts
equates to an investment in
societal
well-being and
cultural
sustainability.
On the other hand, detractors contend that
artists
, who inherently relish their work, should not rely on
public
funds. They argue that the intrinsic joy experienced by
artists
can be
seen as
a form of self-sustenance, thus diminishing the rationale for external
financial
support. However, this viewpoint neglects the broader implications of
art
on
society
and the economic challenges that many
artists
face. While some successful
artists
may flourish without
government
assistance, numerous others grapple with precarious
financial
conditions that impede their capacity to create and disseminate their work to a wider audience.
Public
financing can enhance artistic expression, ensuring that
art
remains accessible to all members of
society
, not solely those with
financial
means.
In conclusion, while the intrinsic satisfaction that
artists
derive from their craft is undeniably significant, the extensive
societal
benefits associated with supporting the
arts
are compelling. I firmly believe that
public
funding for the
creative
sector is not only warranted but also essential for the ongoing enhancement of
society
. Consequently, a balanced approach that recognizes both the intrinsic and
societal
worth of the
arts
is vital for the comprehensive development of our
cultural
landscape.