IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6.5
6.5
Overall Score
13 Aug 24, 03:39
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task well, providing relevant arguments and examples. However, there are grammatical errors and some issues with coherence and cohesion that affect readability and overall flow.
| Overall score | 6.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 7.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 19 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6 | |
| Lexical resource | 5 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Question
In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn their own income and therefore do not require the financial security that marriage can bring.
To what extent do you agree?
#Society
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:308
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
women
are reluctant to get married. Some individuals argue that as females generate income, they no longer see the luxury of financial security that a marriage
can bring forth. This essay will discuss
why getting married is not as attractive as it used to be in the past.In the early 2000s,
women
were discouraged from work and convinced by the media that their place is in a more traditional setting
which was their home. Therefore, many young girls were convinced that marriage
was an opportunity to gain their independence and for that reason, they were more likely to get married. Early marriage
, however, was not all it was perceived to be. Women
were responsible for overwhelming
majority of domestic labour as well as taking care of the children. This often lead to disappointment and arguments with spouses
which were taught that it is only a womans
'
job to nuture
. This explains why marriage
prospects often seemed attractive in the old days despite leading to resentment and
sometimes, even divorce.Conversely over the last decade,
women
were able to join the workforce and earn money as they became independent and no longer viewed marriage
as a necessity. They were able to provide for their families, build homes and feel fulfilled without the need for a provider. This is a direct effect of the men unfulfilling their household responsibilities. Husbands managed to weaponize their incompetence as a way to escape domestic chores and laid more labour on their wives. Therefore, marriage
became a trap and women
stopped viewing marriage
as a crucial tool to feel financially secure.To conclude, in some countries, many girls are less likely to wed for financial safety. This is a direct impact of females becoming gaining back their financial freedom and autonomy in our societies.