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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
21 Apr 25, 08:04
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Overall Feedback

The essay presents a clear opinion but lacks depth in idea development and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but could benefit from more variety and precision.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors16
Grammatical range and accuracy3
Lexical resource5
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response3

Writing Task

#Society
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result.
Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Submitted Answer

Words253|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
In a fast-paced world, the
improvement
in the economy
affects
the quality of our life and moral
principles
which is vital in our generation. I believe that
drawbacks
of economic development outweigh any of its advantages.
Nowadays, the quality of life depends on the
improvement
and changes in our society. However, there are numerous individuals who argue that changes in the country have detrimental effects on everyone, especially in social
values
which are imperative in our life. For example, the advancement of technology in our generation such as, social media, and mobile devices
affects
the behaviour of the vast majority of individuals. Furthermore, they focus more on social media rather than building a strong foundation for their
family
.
Moreover, the significant
improvement
in our industry such as
improvement
in our infrastructure, public transportation, health care facilities, and education provide more jobs and other opportunities to all people. However, most of these companies require overtime and weekend duties that can have detrimental effects in our relationship with our
families
. For instance, the tradition of eating together as a
family
and bond every weekend will alleviate. As a result, children will miss the good
values
that parents must teach and provide to their children. In short, enhancement in our industry
affects
the
values
and tradition that we have in our
family
.
Paragraph 4 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
These days, the development in the industry
affects
the standard of living and
values
which is crucial in our generation. I believe that disadvantages of economic
improvement
outweigh any of its positive effects.

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