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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7

7.0
Overall Score
17 Aug 24, 21:07
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Overall Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the impact of modern societal values on traditional family structures with clear and relevant points. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer thesis statement to enhance coherence and task achievement.
Overall score7.0
Grammatical range and accuracy8.0
Lexical resource7.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors30
Grammatical range and accuracy2
Lexical resource9
Coherence & cohesion15
Task response4

Writing Task

#Family
#Discussion
As societies evolve, there is often a perceived conflict between traditional family values and modern societal values.
Discuss the impact of modern societal values on traditional family structures.

Submitted Answer

Words322|Paragraphs14
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
I The Impact of Modern Societal Values on Traditional Family Structures
Paragraph 2 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
The interplay between
traditional
family
values
and modern societal
values
has been a subject of ongoing debate and transformation.
Modern societal shifts, driven by factors such as globalization, technological advancements, and economic
changes,
have significantly influenced the dynamics of
traditional
family
structures.
Paragraph 4 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Key Impacts of Modern Societal
Values
:
Paragraph 5 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Changing Gender Roles:
Traditional
gender roles, where men were primarily breadwinners and women
homemakers
, have been challenged. Women's increased participation in the workforce has led to more egalitarian relationships within
families
, with shared responsibilities.
Paragraph 6 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Delayed Marriage and Parenthood: The pursuit of education, career establishment, and financial independence has led to delayed marriage and parenthood. This has implications for
family
formation and child-rearing practices.
Paragraph 7 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Rise of Individualism: A growing emphasis on personal
fulfillment
and individual aspirations has sometimes taken precedence over
family
obligations. This can impact
family
cohesion and support systems.
Paragraph 8 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Diverse Family Structures: The
traditional
nuclear
family
model is no longer the dominant form. Single-parent households, same-sex couples, and blended
families
have become more common, challenging
traditional
definitions of
family
.
Paragraph 9 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Implications for Traditional Family Structures:
Paragraph 10 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Weakening of Extended Family Ties: The decline of extended
family
living arrangements has reduced the support network available to
families
.
Paragraph 11 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Challenges in Balancing Work and
Family
: Juggling career demands and
family
responsibilities can create stress and conflict within
families
.
Paragraph 12 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Impact on Child-Rearing: Changing parenting styles and roles can affect children's upbringing and development.
Paragraph 13 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Social and Emotional Well-being: The transition to new
family
structures may require individuals to adapt and build resilience.
It's
essential to note that the impact of modern societal
values
on
traditional
family
structures varies across cultures and societies. While some changes may be perceived as negative, others can lead to greater flexibility, equality, and individual
fulfillment
within
families
. The key lies in finding a balance between preserving cherished
family
values
and adapting to the evolving social landscape.

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