IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7

7.0
Overall Score
28 Sept 24, 16:27
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Overall Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task, providing clear reasons for changes in family sizes and their impacts. However, it could benefit from more varied vocabulary and a clearer thesis statement to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Overall score7.0
Grammatical range and accuracy8.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors16
Grammatical range and accuracy1
Lexical resource8
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Over the decades, the average size of families in many parts of the world has changed significantly. There are several factors contributing to this trend.
What are the main reasons for changes in family sizes over the years and how do these changes impact the family dynamics?
#Family
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:292
Paragraphs:6
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Historically,
families
often
consisted of at least seven members per household. However, this trend has shifted significantly
in recent years
, primarily due to demanding careers and rising living
costs
. As a result, there is a clear contrast between
family
sizes of the past and those of today.
In contemporary society,
many
individuals prioritize their careers, which frequently leaves little time for starting and nurturing
families
. For example, approximately two-thirds of
women
are employed full-time, typically working from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. This makes it challenging for them to balance work responsibilities with raising
children
. Consequently,
many
couples opt to have fewer
children
or choose not to have any.
Moreover, government initiatives aimed at empowering
women
through education have seen
many
young people enrolling in programs that can last up to six years. These courses demand full-time commitment, making it difficult for
women
to have more
children
before they reach an advanced age.
Additionally, the rising cost of living has made it increasingly difficult to support larger
families
. For instance, the continuous rise in grocery prices has led
many
to rely on food assistance programs, which are
often
limited to those with special needs, leaving
many
unable to qualify. As a result,
families
tend to be smaller, contributing to a decline in birth rates.
Nonetheless, it is important to recognize that some communities and religious groups maintain larger
families
, adhering to traditional values where
women
often
stay at home to raise
children
while men serve as providers.
In conclusion, considering all these factors, it is essential for individuals to create
families
that they can realistically support. This approach can help prevent issues such as depression, divorce, and suicide that
often
arise from the pressures of financial hardship.

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