IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 7.5

7.5
Overall Score
06 Jul 24, 13:33
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The essay is well-structured and addresses the question effectively, with a clear discussion of both benefits and drawbacks of military spending. It demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and grammatical accuracy, though further elaboration on some points could enhance the argumentation.

Overall score7.5
Grammatical range and accuracy8.0
Lexical resource7.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors16
Grammatical range and accuracy2
Lexical resource7
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response3
Question
Some believe that high military spending is necessary for national security, while others see it as a misallocation of resources that could be better spent elsewhere.
Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of government spending on the military.
#Government Spending
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:250
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
High
military
spending is a contentious issue, with proponents arguing it is essential for
national
security
and opponents viewing it as a misallocation of funds that could be better utilized elsewhere, leading to an ongoing debate about the priorities of
national
budgets.
One notable benefit of substantial
defense
expenditure is the enhanced
security
it provides. A robust military can definitely deter potential aggressors, ensuring a nation's sovereignty and safety. Additionally, a well-funded army can swiftly respond to emergencies, such as natural disasters or terrorist attacks, providing necessary aid and stability. Moreover, investing in
defense
can spur technological advancements that eventually benefit civilian sectors, such as the internet and GPS, both of which originated from
military
research.
However, there are significant drawbacks to allocating large portions of a budget to
defense
. One major concern is the opportunity cost, as funds diverted to the military could be used for social programs, education, healthcare, and infrastructure development. Critics argue that prioritizing
military
expenditure can lead to underfunded public services, adversely affecting a nation's overall quality of life. Furthermore, an excessive focus on
military
can escalate tensions with other countries, potentially leading to an arms race and undermining international peace efforts.
In conclusion, while high
military
spending can bolster
national
security
and drive technological progress, it also entails considerable opportunity costs and can strain international relations. Therefore, governments must carefully balance
military
needs with other critical areas of public spending to ensure a well-rounded approach to
national
development and
security
.