IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
31 Jul 24, 04:10
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The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in analysis and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but could be more varied and accurate for a higher score.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors23
Grammatical range and accuracy5
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Many companies struggle with high employee turnover, which can be costly and disrupt workflow.
What are the main difficulties in retaining employees, and what effective strategies can be used to improve retention?
#Work
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:336
Paragraphs:5
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
High
employee
turnover
is when many
employees
leaves
the
company
. Reasons for a
high
employee
turnover
include no motivation, no fringe benefits
given
by the
company
, no
job
satisfaction, no
job
security, etc. There are many reasons why a
company
may be experiencing
high
employee
turnover
. This creates a drawback in the workflow
, because
, as people are leaving the
company
, the firm must be able to find someone to take over its workload. This can
also
be costly since they must train the newly hired workers.
However, there is a solution to this problem.
Companies
could start
retaining
workers by
giving
them more motivation. By
giving
employees
more motivation, they would begin to feel visible. This sense of visibility would make them feel more appreciated and thus more willing to stay and work. The
company
could
also
start doing
job
rotations, team projects, or delegation. They could
also
give
out bonuses or commissions.
Job rotations are used to make sure their
jobs
are not boring, and it could
improve
their skill set. Team projects are vital for a
company
's communication because, team projects will improve the communication between each department, resulting in fewer mistakes made. Delegation is where the manager
gives
their workload to an
employee
. By doing so, the
employee
would feel more important and
motivated
which will increase the business' productivity. Not only does it benefit the
employee
, but it
also
helps the manager identify which
employees
are capable of doing more heavy work.
Bonuses and commissions could
also
be
given
out to
employees
as this would motivate them to work harder to receive the bonuses or commissions.
Although there are many solutions regarding
high
employee
turnover
,
retaining
employees
is difficult since they are individuals with their own mindsets. It would take time and money to
retain
workers. Which may disrupt the workflow of the business. In conclusion, in the short run,
retaining
employees
will be a disadvantage to the
firm
but in the long run, it would be beneficial for the
company
.