IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
10 Jul 24, 12:29
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in argumentation and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but contain errors and limited range. Coherence and cohesion are present but could be improved for better readability.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 30 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 15 | |
| Lexical resource | 7 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
#Health
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:282
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
accomodated
by the country. The presence of adequate sports facilities are believed to have pivotal
role in improving public health. However, some people argue that another measure still need to be taken because construction of the facilites
only have insignificant result. I will try to dive into both perspective before I express my opinion.Missing Linking Devices
center
. Especially in big city
where buildings dominate the soil and most its'
citizen
spend their time in front of the computer, sport center
is the best
way out for
this condition. Government's approach by providing more various sport facility to persuade their people to exercise their body in a way they like is a smart strategy to implement.Nevertheless, health is a complex issue where it requires preventive, handling and countermeasure. Sport is one of
preventive
method, and it should be followed with other plan
. Government
has to provide good
medical healthcare to handle health issue. When a disease cannot be controlled, it can infected
people broadly. The other one is countermeasure
part. to
have general health, government shall also provide good
environment. A healthy, clean, pollution-free city can notably impact overall health.In my opinion, finding the
best
way to improve public health is changing overtime and depends on the country
situation. Some country
may find medical facility is the priority and can have significant impact
while other
may find gymnasium is the best
solution to this goal.