IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
10 Jul 24, 08:07
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The essay addresses the question but contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are generally maintained, but some ideas lack clear development and support. Vocabulary is adequate but could be more varied and precise.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors29
Grammatical range and accuracy12
Lexical resource9
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
Globalisation facilitates the widespread distribution of information, which can lead to greater understanding and collaboration worldwide. However, this also raises concerns about privacy and misinformation.
Discuss the positive and negative aspects of global information sharing due to globalisation.
#Globalisation
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:255
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Globalisation is now one of the main agenda in international forum. Sharing
information
between
countries
is undeniable in this collaboration process. In order to gain the
interest
countries
are engaging each
other
to share their knowledge on large segment. This transfer
information
can bring various advantages to the
country
but
it is not without threats.
The dynamics of human's
challanges
require
country
to cooperate to find a solution.
Transfering
knowledge is a pivotal key to accelerate solution finding. For example, during pandemic
every
countries
are broadcasting their situation and analyses to speed up the cure invention. Moreover, globalisation also
help
country
to learn from each
other
in combating
other
issues like, criminal act and environmental sustainability.
Nevertheless, globalization also has drawbacks to the
country
. Especially for developing
countries
who do not have strong firewall security, their sensitive
information
might get disclosed accidentally. In this
contemporer
era,
information
can be stolen by
other
which
can be really dangerous
because
they can
misused
it. Moreover, this shared
information
can be a disadvantage
because
it can harden the
country
to compete
because
they know all of the
information
. In business,
information
is an asset to survive the competition. Furthermore, with the
information
floating around, it will create more burden to the
country
because
it is prone to misinformation which may generate unnecessary rumble.
In conclusion, while globalisation can help
country
to overcome global
challanges
and combating national
issues
it also has risk entails. The security and mitigation planning shall be established to reduce the downside of globalisation.