IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
08 Oct 24, 17:31
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the topic but lacks clarity and coherence, with several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, and the development of ideas is not fully realized, affecting the overall task response.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors31
Grammatical range and accuracy12
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
Despite progress, gender inequality remains a pressing issue worldwide, hindering social and economic development.
What are the main factors contributing to gender inequality, and what steps should be taken to promote gender equality?
#Society
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:354
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Gender
equality
has
making
a great improvement in terms of fighting for its acceptance worldwide. However,
despite of
the success, unfairness seems noticeable that impedes social and economic progress. While I believe that there are main reasons leading to
gender
inequality, there should some ways to naturalise
gender
equality
.
There are a number of significant factors leading to
gender
inequality. Many people are dwelling in the past, believing that certain skills are only meant
to
one's
gender
. The reason for this perspective is that a task may not result better if it is not done by a specific human being. For
example
, we always believe that women are
good in doing
household chores rather than men. Hence, many
individual
will
make
judgement when they see the
set up
of husband and wife doing the opposite job. Another point is that most company
shows
biased when hiring employees. This is one characteristic that
ruin
the economic progress . Those who are in driving organisation, are stricter in hiring drivers, as a result they will only allow men when looking for drivers.
In recent years, we felt some changes of just for both male and female. However, it does not suffice, the country that we live in should implement fairness regardless of its
gender
. If the government, implement a rule that all jobseekers can
make
an application of their liking, this will not only improve the economic growth
but
it will also help the family's well-being. Another way is that
showing
equality
to all human being should be seen through commercials
in the television
or
in the internet
. By
showing
good
examples
, our social development will
e
even better.For
example
, in Singapore, people are allowed to take the role of men staying at home rather than women.
In conclusion, in order to achieve
gender
equality
we must exemplify important measures such as the government play an important role to
make
one's
gender
can seek a job
despite of
the
gender
and also by
showing
good
examples
to the public, this would greatly help our social status to be
upront
without awkward issues.

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