IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
28 Jun 24, 16:50
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but has several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are moderate, with some ideas not fully developed or logically connected.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 28 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 9 | |
| Lexical resource | 12 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Multicultural societies are those in which multiple cultural groups live together. This diversity can influence social dynamics and community interactions.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in a multicultural society?
#Society
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:354
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
culture
people
indeed can affect the social dynamics and community interactions. Although, a balance approach can be considered since they will be more tolerate as a benefit and conflict
might becoming
an issue for them.On one hand, enforcing
people
to live side-by-side with various culture
could be very complex to manage. This complexity will lead to the conflict
of each people
. War between civilian might appears
and eventually lead to other
crucial aspect like economy. A management of conflict
could be the way to arrange the understanding of each side. Indonesia, for instance, a rich-cultural country
consist of 500 nation
and each of them have their own culture
. Local people
have suffered from the war in Kalimantan
between Madura and Dayak tribes. Local economy slowing down and many people
have injured and had the nightmare from that case.On the
other
hand, living inside the rich cultural societies have the advantage to be able to tolerate. Embracing the difference culture
between each people
might be a blessed for country
since they might learn each other
cultures
. Additionally, people
may draw the knowledge of other
perspective of looking on something and
it usually associated with a believe
as their tradition in the past. This will lead to understand and give respect for each other
regardless of their nation. People
can take the benefit from each culture
and learn from it to survive their life. For example
Singapore, a small-city country
who has no resources but has diverse cultural citizen such as malay
, indian
, chineese
etc. This multicultural country
able to draw the tradition for each nation and able to formulate it to survive. Singapore, currently, has become a rich and strong country
despite they have the limited area and resources.In conclusion, living in the
country
who has many background
indeed affecting social interaction between each people
. A balance can be an option
since it might posses
a toleration as an advantage and conflict
as a disadvantage. It actually depends on how the ruler govern the country
in terms of both of those when considering national policy.