IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6.5

6.5
Overall Score
21 Sept 24, 11:39
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Overall Feedback

The essay provides a clear opinion and supports it well, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are good, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Vocabulary is varied but could be more precise.
Overall score6.5
Grammatical range and accuracy7.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors26
Grammatical range and accuracy4
Lexical resource15
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response3
Question
In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right to privacy.
To what extent do you agree?
#Media & Advertising
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:US English
Words:358
Paragraphs:3
Paragraph Count Requirement
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Every
public
figures
'
privacy
has been restricted by the
public
as their
lives
have been
documented
and analyzed by the media, and exploited for personal gain. There has been an argument that by being notable, they must be prepared for the disadvantages of what it takes to be a
public
figure
in the
public
eye, which includes being photographed by the press wherever they go. However, it was also augmented that if they
don't
want their private
lives
to be constantly
documented
, then they
shouldn't
be a celebrity in the first place. Thus, I fully disagree on the standard that
public
figures
have no
right
to
privacy
.
Being famous
doesn't
erase their
right
to
privacy
. Every person's
privacy
should be respected, including
public
figures
. Celebrities are ordinary citizens just like us, and the only difference we have from them is their influence towards the
public
. Their private
lives
must not be turned around into gossip that gets thrown around by the media, and their private
lives
must not always be
documented
by the
public
. Constant invasion of personal space does not only compromise their well-being, but also pose a threat for their safety and their loved ones. As people who value their work, we do not have a relationship with
them, thus
we are not obligated to be updated about their personal
lives
.
We must understand that while being passionate about their work, they did not subject themselves to contempt and
explotation
. They may allow photographs to be taken during
public
events, but it
doesn't
give us the
right
to constantly
document
their
lives
in
public
. They did not sign a contract that stated that their
privacy
will be restricted. When we see them in
public
, we do not take their pictures, but instead we let them live their
lives
just as we live ours. In conclusion, every
public
figure
has a
right
to
privacy
because they deserve to navigate their own
lives
without constant intrusion, and it is a necessity for their own well-being and safety.
Morever
, we must understand
privacy
is a universal
principal
that
doesn't
exceeds
fame.

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