IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
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27 Jul 24, 20:41
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The essay addresses the role of education in societal development and the challenges faced, but it contains numerous grammatical errors and lacks coherence in some parts. Vocabulary usage is adequate but could be more varied and precise.

Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy4.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors42
Grammatical range and accuracy11
Lexical resource24
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Education is frequently hailed as a cornerstone for societal development, offering individuals the tools to improve their lives and contribute to their communities. However, ensuring access to quality education remains a significant challenge.
Discuss the role of education in societal development and the challenges faced in providing quality education.
#Society
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:293
Paragraphs:5
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Education
was always the
tickect
to
succes
for every civilization. Throughout history,
many
prestigues
societies
valued knowledge and learning. This great value of
education
made them rise upon
other
nations around the globe and be distinctively over educated. In contrast,
other
nations who did not value
eduaction
had to face uprising conflicts.
Education
plays a great role in the improvement of
ones
life and community, it is a blessing in disguise . Indeed,
high
quality
education
has become a
neccesity
for insuring a well-lifestyle, and determines
ones
socioeconomic statues .
Many
leading countries have developed their
soceities
by learning; therefore they have strong economies, better health care systems, technological advancements , and
accessabile
education
programs.
On the
other
hand, lack of
education
services causes
obsticals
that will remain in
ones
life and
sociaty
. Moreover, if a person is
uneducated
he will face financial crises and will be considered as a burden on the
society
. Similarly,
societies
with low
education
rates are considered third-world countries, meaning that
the
are prevented from diplomatic and political advantages.
Additionaly
, these
societies
have great poverty rates and
high
crime rates.
So far, this seems fair. However,
many
individauls
and
societies
lack
high
education
resources. This lack causes stress in communities and creates a huge gap between nations. Therefore,
many
students who are aspiring and dreaming of a bright future have to travel hundreds or thousands of miles just to
acccess
prestigues
education
.
In conclusion,
education
is vital for building
societies
and
it indicates
it's
future. People who have the
privilage
to
high
quality
education
create
a strong
societies
. Unlike
other
people, who do not have the
privilage
to be educated. The absence of quality
education
around the world created a huge social and economic gap between
many
countries.