IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
02 Aug 24, 18:46
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks clear structure and coherence. Grammar and vocabulary usage are basic, with several errors and limited range.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 33 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 12 | |
| Lexical resource | 12 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Children are often considered the future of any society, but their role in shaping that future can be deeply influenced by their educational experiences.
How do children contribute to the society they are part of, and how crucial is their education in this regard?
#Society
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:336
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Education, underestimated by many.
Children
learn from a young age, a toddlers
curiosity and questions often end up the parents
wondering about the answer as well. The toddler
wants to know why the Sun is yellow, why can't
he fly
etc. Yet
some parents
do not contribute to the toddlers
curiosity in a manner in which they should. The curiosity should be noticed by the parent
and taken care of; parents
arent
all knowing but
that should not stop them from giving their toddlers
an answer. In stead
of making up an answer
they should research together with their kid
thus
the kid
shall develop
the ability to think critically.Nowadays,
kids
are mostly shut down by the parents
as they neglect the kids
by giving them iPads and all other sorts of devices. This impacts the future negatively as
children
who were raised with electronics do not
develop
mental abilities as well as the
kids
who
weren't
. Scientific data shows a decrease in IQ within the recent
years
thus backing-up my statement.
I believe if a kid
is given the proper care and attention
it will develop
better mental skills
which will impact their future.Developing
mental skills
at the early stages of life is great but not the ultimate key to success, parents
shall be strict whilst the kid
is studying for the kids
sake. Children
need to inhabit work ethic, develop
critical thinking all while working on their social skills
; if a parent
neglects their kid
that may cause a side effect such as the kid
only developing
one certain skill
. For example
a kid
who was harshly punished for their bad grades might not develop
social skills
properly as harsh punishments draw them away from socialising
leaving the children
traumatized which improves their work ethic. Balance is everything if we want to have a kid
who will successfully improve the future.In conclusion, I believe that
kids
contribute to the society with their knowledge, skills
and other unique abilities.