IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7

7.0
Overall Score
28 Mar 25, 12:32
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Overall Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing family dynamics and proposing interventions, but could benefit from more detailed examples and a clearer thesis statement. The language is mostly formal with a good range of vocabulary, though some sentences could be more concise for improved coherence.
Overall score7.0
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource7.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors16
Grammatical range and accuracy4
Lexical resource5
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4

Writing Task

#Youth Crime
#Problem / Solution
Family conditions and parenting styles play a crucial role in the developmental stages of children, which can influence their propensity to engage in criminal activities.
Discuss the influence of family dynamics on youth crime and propose family-based interventions to prevent it.

Submitted Answer

Words274|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
During a
child
's formative years, many influences dictate the likelihood of criminal activity as they grow
older
including family dynamics and parenting styles. However, these factors can always be mitigated if the appropriate preventive measures are applied within the household.
One's home environment plays a crucial role in the development stages of an individual. This is because a
child
typically perceives their older family members as role models. For example, growing up around violence can result
to
the
child
believing that this type of
behavior
is acceptable. As a result, many adolescents develop harmful coping mechanisms that eventually evolve into criminal activity if no preventive measures are performed.
In the same way, having
parents
that cope with challenges in gentle and healthy ways makes the younger
children
feel that they should handle difficulties in a similar manner. Hence, cultivating an environment that makes the
child
feel safe should be one of the main priorities of the
parents
. When a
child
misbehaves, the
parent
should implement firm but gentle disciplinary measures that allow the
child
to understand their mistakes and in doing so, speak to a
child
respectfully at all times. Young
children
often mirror their
parents
'
actions
so it is crucial that they maintain the decorum they want their own
children
to uphold.
In conclusion, putting security, kindness, and respect at the forefront of familial interactions is an effective way for
children
to grow up with an understanding of what is right or wrong. Learning always starts at home for all
children
thus, a home should be the best place for a
child
to be
molded
into a responsible member of society.

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