IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
28 Mar 25, 19:06
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task but lacks clarity and coherence, with several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Vocabulary is limited and repetitive, and the ideas are not fully developed or logically organized.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors27
Grammatical range and accuracy3
Lexical resource13
Coherence & cohesion6
Task response5

Writing Task

#Education
#Problem / Solution
Many educational institutions are still using outdated curricula that do not align with the current demands of the job market and technological advancements.
What problems arise from using outdated curricula in schools and how can these curricula be modernized to meet current demands?

Submitted Answer

Words245|Paragraphs4
English:US English
Global Issues:
Word Count Requirement
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
Curriculas
are the planning of courses or
subjects
to be taught in a school or college. These usually depend on the Government, and what they believe are the
requires
of the
current
state of the world. Adapting the people for the
current
demands
is the main goal of the curricula, and without such, the incompetence level would increase highly.
Paragraph 2 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
Secondly, the usage of outdated
curriculas
could damage the educational level worldwide, meaning that people who
don't
meet the
current
demands
are the main consequence of this. This could cause the industries to lack decent employees and having insufficient outcomes to provide to the
current
world.
Thirdly, the
techiques
that could be utilized for
curriculas
to be modernized for
current
demand
meeting are many.
To give an example, the governments worldwide could summon the main educational authorities for a reunion, where they could decide whether to expand the
curricula
, adding new
subjects
that are considered necessary for the
current
demands
, or to narrow it, withdrawing the
subjects
that are
tought
to be outdated or obsolete, giving in more space for the upcoming additions to the
curricula
.
The study of the
current
economy to find the necessary brand-new
subjects
could be another method to modernize the outdated
curriculas
to meet
current
demands
. This could be done by professionals who know the
requires
that the future
demands
.
Finally, outdated
curriculas
might lead to catastrophic consequences, and to avoid them, updating and constant feedback is completely necessary.

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