IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
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19 Jul 24, 04:52
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The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence in some parts. Grammar and vocabulary need improvement, and the ideas should be more logically developed and supported with examples.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy4.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors51
Grammatical range and accuracy10
Lexical resource33
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
Globalisation promotes cultural exchange and interaction, which can enrich societies. However, it also raises concerns about cultural homogenization and the loss of traditional identities.
Discuss the impact of globalisation on cultural diversity, including both cultural exchange and homogenization.
#Globalisation
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:349
Paragraphs:8
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Currently, globalisation
is been
inntensified
with the introduction of social media and faster means of transport. In my opinion, local culture must be praised, thus
homegenization
should be limited.
Firstly, homogenization
envolves
substituting one
meaningfull
tradition over the trendiest, which implies reducing centuries of history to dust. Consequently,
population
will get
sparesly
connected
into
their roots. Of course, a second generation
chinese
is excited
for
eating
mexican
culinary in
america
, however neither will not know
cantonese
, nor be patriot to homeland, USA, or even the history of tacos. This may cause a lack of understanding and
apreciation
to each
customs
.
Besides,
worshiping
exotic lifestyle leads to severe
consequences since
it dispute with foreign
enviroment
. For instance,
australian
eucalyptus was seen before as profitable for overseas companies, thus being planted throughout all woodlands. This quickly changed when reports
showed
that this tree annihilates soil nutrients and
accelarate
temperate forests wildfires.
On the other hand, religion and cultural exchange will always cause clashes when any party does not openly accept the new laws, practices and ethics. For example,
UK
is
fancing
an
significant cultural exchange between
arabic
asylum seekers and
british
comunity
. The aftermath is negative to
englismen
due to the rise of protests from the construction of housing and lack of job opportunities. On the other side,
islamist
have been freed to pledge their
close minded
Sharia law.
Sources conclude
intense crime rate of foreign born as a process of globalisation, meanwhile residents
retify
as colonisation or
islamic
invation
.
Nonetheless, globalisation is good if developed correctly, specially in areas who lack health security. As different background scientists reunite to assist in expanding knowledge, the faster medicine is reproduced and administrated. Unicode is another example due to the creation of a standard
writting
in technology - anyone can express their ideas without worrying about converting
characteres
.
In addition, homogenization simplifies local barriers bringing
comunities
together by the fact of speaking same language or agreeing in the manners.
At the moment
,
english
is spoken worldwide, helping
travelers
ask for directions and more!
In conclusion, keeping and showcasing traditions
globaly
enriches minds, not homogenization.

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