IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
24 Jun 24, 13:25
Want to practice?
Try this question
Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks depth and clarity in some areas. Grammar and vocabulary need improvement, and the essay would benefit from better coherence and cohesion.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 4.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 51 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 8 | |
| Lexical resource | 34 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Current agricultural practices can have detrimental effects on the environment, including pollution and the depletion of natural resources.
What are the environmental impacts of current agricultural practices, and what sustainable methods can be adopted to mitigate these effects?
#Food
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:306
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
agricultural
practices are often labled
as not sustainable
. A distinction must be made between intensive
and ethical agriculture
. Many
practices are not sustainable
because of the chemicals involved in the agricultural
processes. Another detrimental role is played by fertilizers, that are very
polluting and are used
to reduce the time
needed to grow
plantations
and to "artificially" increase the weight of products. Intensive
agricolture
is harmfull
to the soil
because it doesn't
allow the land in wich
plantations
are grown
to follow its normal cicle
. Without all the chemicals that are used
in agricultural
practicies
there would be years in wich
plantations
have a lower productivity and farmers profit would end up decreesing
. Environmentally harmful pesticides are used
and abused to ensure
that no flies nor any other insect can damage the crop.Agricultural
practicies
can and should become more
sustainable
. The first step to sustainability is to educate consumers on the risks and the donwsides
of pesticides-intensive
agriculture
. By informing usual consumers on the
helth
risks and on the damages that
intensive
agricultural
practicies
can pose, the demand of unethical-
grown
products would
decrese
inducing farmers and big corporations to switch to a
more
sustainable
and
environmentaly-friendly
approach.
Missing Linking Devices
methods
that could be adopted to ensure
a more
sustainable
agriculture
it is important to consider the specific needs of differents
plantation
and the different
effect
that some of them have on the soil
.Many
plantations
and vegetables can be grown
simbiotically
and can benefit from one another, this could ensure
high productivity due to the different
minerals that different
crops need. At the same time
a well-diversified vegetation has proven to be ealthier
for the soil
allowing it to remain fertile for longer periods of time
without having to use
as many
fertilizers as in a regular filed.