IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
28 Jul 24, 18:18
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The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in analysis and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but contain errors and lack variety, while coherence and cohesion need improvement for better readability.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors17
Grammatical range and accuracy4
Lexical resource6
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Crime is a persistent concern in many societies, impacting the sense of safety and community life.
What are the principal reasons for high crime rates in some communities, and how can these rates be reduced?
#Society
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:290
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Criminal activity has been present since the ancient times. Different
cases
cause trouble for the population and
raises
concerns about security. There are several driving forces behind
cases
of breaking the law.
Different factors force people to commit treason, but not all crimes are intentional and some are a result of lack of information. Firstly,
in many
cases
the biggest motivator behind unlawful actions is money. For example, different circumstances, harsh living conditions or even greed can be a cause of people going to extreme measures in order to satisfy their needs. Secondly, the nature of human beings is very mysterious. It is not rare for many convicts to be unable to express their reasons for their wrongdoings. Finally, not abiding by the law may be a result of ignorance. This is often the
case
with accidents on roads, which are filled with uneducated drivers.
The government and the community must implement various solutions towards the improvement of the safety of the public. To begin with, schools
plays
a vital role in the forming of a future citizen. In other words, there must be adjustments made to the education system, which must provide a sustainable and a successful future for the younger generation. With that in mind, there should be a considerable amount of money allocated towards the safety of the population. For instance, the police must be better equipped and there should be
survaillance
cameras placed in all streets and
building
.
In conclusion, the
indcidents
of unlawful acts are unavoidable in society and there will always be motives behind them. People's
evironment
or simply their nature can be an excuse. However, the government must pay more attention to the raising of the future generation and provide resources required.