IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
22 Jun 24, 22:36
Want to practice this question?
Go to IELTS Essay Checker

Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in task response and coherence. Grammar and lexical resource are adequate but could be improved for better clarity and precision.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors31
Grammatical range and accuracy7
Lexical resource16
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
Community sports programs can enhance local engagement and health but might also lead to certain negative outcomes.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of promoting sports at the community level.
#Sport
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:US English
Words:300
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Community
physical education
events
can increase engagement and the health of
locals
,
however
it may lead to adverse results. With
people
participating in sports
programs
, it allows the
community
to become
healthier
together as well as reducing the chances of
obesity
. But, these
events
may inflict serious
injury
upon
people
and
cause
arguements
between the
locals
.
A positive outcome from sports
events
is none other than promoting health. This means that
people
can train their stamina as well as train their
strength
which
overall, contribute to the health of a person. Additionally, it reduces the risk of
obesity
that are common among the elderlies. Which means that
people
can
live
longer by actively moving their bodies, which promotes a
healthy
lifestyle
among the residence. For instance,
people
in Indonesia who have a
healthy
lifestyle
generally
live
up to 70 years old, opposed to those without
such
lifestyle
only
live
up to 60 years old.
However
, there may be negative results from
community
sports
events
,
such
as
injury
during the
program
. With the whole
community
being involved, there are higher chances of an elderly being injured because they are more prone towards it. Which may lead to fights among the residence because often,
people
would blame others when someone is injured. For example, there was a case in 2016 where a professional badminton player had to retire due to an
injury
caused
by the foe. This
lead
to an uproar among the supporters of both parties, even though they came from the same countries,
locals
were verbally abusing each other over this matter.
In conclusion,
community
sports
events
allows
citizens to alleviate the risk of
obesity
while becoming a
healthier
individual.
However
, there are certain cases where
programs
like
such
may bring
injuries
onto players, which can
cause
fights between
people
.

Boost Your English Exam Score.
Start Practicing Today.