IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
22 Jun 24, 22:36
Want to practice?
Try this question
Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in task response and coherence. Grammar and lexical resource are adequate but could be improved for better clarity and precision.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 31 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 7 | |
| Lexical resource | 16 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Community sports programs can enhance local engagement and health but might also lead to certain negative outcomes.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of promoting sports at the community level.
#Sport
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:300
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Community
physical education events
can increase engagement and the health of locals
,
however
it may lead to adverse results. With people
participating in sports programs
, it allows the community
to become healthier
together as well as reducing the chances of obesity
. But, these events
may inflict serious injury
upon people
and cause
arguements
between the locals
.A positive outcome from sports
events
is none other than promoting health. This means that people
can train their stamina as well as train their strength
which
overall, contribute to the health of a person. Additionally, it reduces the risk of obesity
that are common among the elderlies. Which means that people
can live
longer by actively moving their bodies, which promotes a healthy
lifestyle
among the residence. For instance, people
in Indonesia who have a healthy
lifestyle
generally live
up to 70 years old, opposed to those without such
lifestyle
only live
up to 60 years old.However
, there may be negative results from community
sports events
, such
as injury
during the program
. With the whole community
being involved, there are higher chances of an elderly being injured because they are more prone towards it. Which may lead to fights among the residence because often, people
would blame others when someone is injured. For example, there was a case in 2016 where a professional badminton player had to retire due to an injury
caused
by the foe. This lead
to an uproar among the supporters of both parties, even though they came from the same countries, locals
were verbally abusing each other over this matter.In conclusion,
community
sports events
allows
citizens to alleviate the risk of obesity
while becoming a healthier
individual. However
, there are certain cases where programs
like such
may bring injuries
onto players, which can cause
fights between people
.