IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
26 Jun 24, 18:22
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence. Grammar and vocabulary usage are basic, with several errors affecting readability. Ideas are not fully developed and the thesis statement is unclear.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 29 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 10 | |
| Lexical resource | 11 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Some cities have imposed curfews for young people as a measure to reduce youth crime, restricting their movement during late evening and night hours.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of imposing curfews on youths to reduce crime rates.
#Youth Crime
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:351
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Cities
have arranged curfews for youth
to reduce crime by strictly regulate their movement during evening hours
. I think that balance approach can be considered. One of the benefits is directing youth
to study
will be easier
while the drawback is that night
shift worker will be struggled.On one hand, if the regulation of curfews can be done for several
cities
, then parents can force their children to study
for their education easily. This will be happen
because
children do not have other choice than stayed in their room to study
. Although, forcing children to stay inside the room might give them a chance to do any other activities online, but the youth
criminal action will be reduced significantly. For example, during COVID 19
, people
in big cities
like Jakarta have experienced this night
hours
strict regulations. All of the place that usually young people
to hang out with will be closed at 9 pm maximum. Youth
will go back to their home immediately. Despite
most of those people
spend their time with another activities like having a video chat with foreigner, but they might learn another foreign language as a result.On the other hand, country's workforce that work in the
night
shift mostly is
young people
. They have choosen
for this type of work
because
it requires physical demand to work
until late time. However, these workers sometime need to fulfill their needs and buy some snacks or food to accompany them during work
. For instance, people
who work in the factory in Surabaya usually find their snack and food before entering the workplace. They might explore the cities
for hours
just to buy food. Night
hours
regulation will be a barrier for them and will likely to
increase the risk of the work
accidents in the factory. This might happen because
they can not
concentrate due the
starvation feeling.In conclusions, imposing curfews indeed a good way to reduce the
youth
crime. They might possess a benefit such as increasing youth
intelligence by forcing to study
a drawback due to present
of the night
shift worker.