IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
10 Jul 24, 07:28
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The essay addresses the economic benefits and environmental challenges of urbanization but lacks clarity and coherence. Grammar and vocabulary need improvement, and the essay should be more formal and structured to enhance readability and logical flow.

Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors34
Grammatical range and accuracy16
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Urbanization can lead to significant economic growth, as cities often become hubs for commerce, technology, and innovation. However, this growth can also pose serious environmental challenges.
Discuss the economic benefits and environmental challenges associated with urbanization.
#Urbanization
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:273
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Cities
are place with many opportunities and dreams,
lot of
citizen
from all part of the country are trying to urbanize in the hope to
better
their quality of life. This shifting
actifities
is like
a two
side coins, while it may bring various advantages, it also has drawbacks in environmental perspective. I will express my opinion on this dynamic in the following paragraph.
People
movement to
city
can accelerate economic growth as human resource
is
the wheel to produce more income.
Most of businesses
, nationally or internationally, are conducted in the
cities
. The
new comers
of the town may
sale
their
skill
or culture that can help to
accomodate
the
city
needs to enhance the business values. For instance, the diversity of
people
who come can introduce their culture in the form of
product
which may attract
buyer
from abroad. Moreover, to run a company, it is essential to have sufficient human
resource
. Other than that, a new idea is a pivotal initiative that is needed for a business to keep them
on
the competition.
However, this dynamic can pose environmental challenges. One of them is due to unbalance
accomodation
with the demand. With a limited house or
apartment
, it will become more difficult for
people
to have their own place. This devastating situation
create
an increasing rate of homeless
people
. In order to survive, they might build their own house or live in
illigal
area and disrupt the surrounded environment.
In short, the urbanization of
citizen
shall be monitored by the government as well as preparing mitigation action to prevent the environmental
distruction
so it can create more sustainable living place.