IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
14 Aug 24, 10:12
Want to practice?
Try this question

Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the topic but lacks clarity and depth in its arguments. Grammar and vocabulary usage are basic, with several errors affecting readability and coherence.

Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors31
Grammatical range and accuracy9
Lexical resource15
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
As societies evolve, there is often a tension between maintaining traditional values and embracing new, modern perspectives. This balance is crucial for social harmony and progression.
Discuss the importance of traditional values and the need to adopt modern values in today's society.
#Society
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:272
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Change
is
always
required for a better and happy
life
which comes by leaving and accepting some new
values
. It is
always
a stress among everyone that
people
are loosing their
tradtional
values
for the sake of modernity in life. However, balancing it with social harmony and progression is a
neccesity
. Upcoming paragraphs would be having a brief discussion about both the facts.
Traditional
values
are a crucial way to bond an individual to their roots and their cultural
existance
. Moreover, these are keeping
people
guided to follow a particular path towards their bright future as
values
are
always
provided by elders with their experience of years. If these
values
are
lost
natives
can not
define their background to anyone in future to clarify which culture they belong to and what they have learnt from it.
On the
other
if the
modeernization
got a light on it then it
can not
be denied in any way that modifications are
always
mandatory for a life of ease. If,
people
do not accept new things or any
changes
in their moral
values
with the
time
then a problem can be caused
to
them because of carrying only the
tradtional
values
in the advanced era. For instance, sometimes older generation
people
are not ready for the
change
in their lifestyle and
suffering
a lot due to that stubborn nature.
As a
nutshell
it can be clearly nurtured out from this essay that
nitizens
should
always
keep their
tradtional
moral
values
with them. Meanwhile, they are supposed to be ready to adopt the
changes
in their mentality, living standard and thinking with the passage of time.