IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
21 Jul 24, 15:25
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question and provides a balanced discussion, but it contains several grammatical errors and lacks advanced vocabulary. Coherence and cohesion are generally maintained, but transitions could be smoother. The task response is strong, but ideas could be more fully developed.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors28
Grammatical range and accuracy2
Lexical resource19
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response3
Question
While both exercise and diet are crucial for good health, opinions differ regarding which has a more significant impact on overall wellness.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
#Health
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:295
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Both
diet
and
exercise
are crucial for
good
health. Some people believe that the
best
way to
stay
healthy
is by
maintaining
a
healthy
diet
as it reduces the risk of health complications. However, some people believe that
excercise
is the
best
way to
stay
healthy
as it keeps them in
good
shape and is
good
for mental health. This essay agrees that a combination of a
healthy
diet
and
regular
excercise
is crucial for overall wellness.
Firstly,
exercise
is essential for
maintaining
body weight, resulting in the prevention of health complications
such as
obesity and heart attacks. Moreover,
regular
exercise
releases the stress hormone which in turn leads to improved mental health outcomes. For example, I have a demanding job as a caseworker, so I ensure to practice self-care by going for a run three days a week.
Moreover, I am also in my late
thirtees
, so I eat
healthy
to
maintain
good
health. Medical research has revealed that,
healthy
food has many health benefits
such as
avoiding diseases
such as
cholestrol
, diabetes and many others. Additionally, eating a
well
balanced
diet
can reverse the effects of these diseases. For example, one may be advised by their doctor to make certain adjustments to their
diet
and cut back on certain foods to reduce their
cholestrol
levels.
In conclusion, a
well
balanced
diet
goes in
conjucttion
with
regular
exercise
in order for one to
stay
healthy
.
Regular
exercise
leads to improved mental health as
well
as reduces the chances of one having health problems. A
good
diet
is a
good
way to keep one's health in check as
well
as
maintain
their body weight which results in
good
health outcomes. Therefore, the general population needs to embrace both strategies
inorder
to
stay
healthy
.