IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
23 Sept 24, 19:41
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but has several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are adequate, but the ideas could be more logically developed and supported with clearer examples.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors15
Grammatical range and accuracy4
Lexical resource4
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
In many countries, governments spend significant resources on promoting national culture through festivals, museums, and public television programs.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of governments promoting national culture?
#Culture
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:284
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Authorities of a numerous amount of countries
are
spending a lot of resources to advertise national cultural sites via television shows, festivals, and museums. Although spent finances could be
more
concentrated on solving problems and meeting citizens' needs, this focus on promotion can acquire people
more
about diverse cultures and develop tourism.
Budget
finaces
is considered to be used for creating new solutions. Instead of waiting for global
hardles
to emerge, government is able to cope with a certain issue step-by-step. This might prevent a future crisis and even lead to thriving of modern advancements which are responding to the people's needs. For example, if enough amount of money had been granted on virology, Kazakhstan would not face a deficiency of these relevant specialists now. These actions would be
more
rational in comparison with spending resources on advertisement.
Nevertheless, it is known that recognisability is crucial for states' tourism and culture. By promoting the motherland, people from all over the world are encouraged to visit the national destinations. This attraction of sightseers improves the touristic sector, following by a higher income and cultural knowledge. For instance, fifth "Nomad Games" festival, which had been organized this autumn in Astana, has increased the number of visitors in Kazakhstan. This global event made Kazakhstan
more
known on international arena and has brought hundred thousand dollars in budget.
In conclusion, governments are promoting national features by spending an enormous amount of resources on television programs, local events and cultural sites. While it might be considered as irrational due to
possibility
to find solutions and respond
on
citizens' demands, it is also essential for the development of the sightseeing and recognition of countries on international level.

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