IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6.5

6.5
Overall Score
15 Jul 24, 15:57
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Overall Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task with clear arguments and relevant examples. However, there are some grammatical errors and occasional awkward phrasing that affect readability and coherence.
Overall score6.5
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors28
Grammatical range and accuracy8
Lexical resource12
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
Getting promotion is one of the biggest drives for people to apply themselves and work hard in the modern workplace.
Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?
#Work
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:333
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Attaining a higher position at one's workplace serves as a great motivation
to
people
. One always finds a way to push themselves further and put more
effort
in their
work
. Attaining a higher position at
work
firstly, appreciates one's hard
work
over the days and the
increase
in
salary
as the job position goes higher is another factor contributing to
people
being driven.
First and Foremost, the
increase
in
salary
that comes along with a
promotion
at
work
drives
people
to
work
harder
. In today's
morden
world, a large number of
people
love experiencing the comforts and fineries of life such
as:
holidays,good clothes and even having luxury households. This type of lifestyle that many cling on
to requires
an endless supply of money.
Therefore
pushing
most
people
to
work
harder
so as to earn more money to service their lifestyles. With an
increase
in
salary
as a
motivation
most
people
strive to put more
effort
in their
work
spaces.
Moreover,
most
people
's
effort
for a
promotion
are driven by their need for reassurance and recognition of their
efforts
. It is without a doubt evident that all and sundry constantly need a
congatulatory
vote whenever they put in
effort
. For
most
people
, hearing their
work
being applauded serves as the biggest motivation.
Take for example a company member who has been
working
for a long time on a difficult task that everyone failed to achieve, hearing praises from their peers as well as the employers after managing to solve the issue could be the best way to acknowledge their
efforts
.
In addition to that, giving this said employee a
promotion
motivates them to
work
even
harder
. Recognition of one's
efforts
especially on a difficult task could be the best way to motivate an individual to
work
harder
.
In conclusion, besides allocation of
promotions
to workers, an
increase
in
salary
as well as recognizing and applauding their
efforts
could be key factors that push one to
work
hard
.

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