IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6.5
6.5
Overall Score
15 Jul 24, 15:57
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Overall Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the task with clear arguments and relevant examples. However, there are some grammatical errors and occasional awkward phrasing that affect readability and coherence.
| Overall score | 6.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 7.0 | |
| Task response | 7.0 |
| Total Errors | 28 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 8 | |
| Lexical resource | 12 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Getting promotion is one of the biggest drives for people to apply themselves and work hard in the modern workplace.
Why do you think people are so driven to get promotion? What other factors influence people to work hard?
#Work
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:333
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
to
people
. One always finds a way to push themselves further and put more effort
in their work
. Attaining a higher position at work
firstly, appreciates one's hard work
over the days and the increase
in salary
as the job position goes higher is another factor contributing to people
being driven.First and Foremost, the
increase
in salary
that comes along with a promotion
at work
drives people
to work
harder
. In today's morden
world, a large number of people
love experiencing the comforts and fineries of life such as:
holidays,good clothes and even having luxury households. This type of lifestyle that many cling on to requires
an endless supply of money. Therefore
pushing most
people
to work
harder
so as to earn more money to service their lifestyles. With an increase
in salary
as a motivation
most
people
strive to put more effort
in their work
spaces.Moreover,
most
people
's effort
for a promotion
are driven by their need for reassurance and recognition of their efforts
. It is without a doubt evident that all and sundry constantly need a congatulatory
vote whenever they put in effort
. For most
people
, hearing their work
being applauded serves as the biggest motivation. Take for example a company member who has been
working
for a long time on a difficult task that everyone failed to achieve, hearing praises from their peers as well as the employers after managing to solve the issue could be the best way to acknowledge their
efforts
.
In addition to that, giving this said employee a promotion
motivates them to work
even harder
. Recognition of one's efforts
especially on a difficult task could be the best way to motivate an individual to work
harder
.In conclusion, besides allocation of
promotions
to workers, an increase
in salary
as well as recognizing and applauding their efforts
could be key factors that push one to work
hard
.