IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
09 Oct 24, 08:53
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task but lacks a clear thesis statement and has several grammatical errors. Vocabulary is adequate but could be more varied, and coherence and cohesion need improvement for better logical flow.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 4.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 34 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 12 | |
| Lexical resource | 15 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Video games are a popular form of entertainment among youth, with ongoing debates regarding their influence on behavior and cognitive development.
How do video games influence youth, and what are the potential benefits and drawbacks of playing video games?
#Technology
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:304
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
video
games
was
considered good for youth
mental and physical health. However, Nowadays, It has incredibly developed because of the digital and technological advancement. Video
games
affects
children and teenagers in both negative and positive ways.To begin with, Thanking to the digital
evolvemend
occured
past few decades, Today children fully possess the accessibilty
to new information through internet connection. One potential benefit of video
games
could be the contribution to youth
's cognitive abilities. For instance, Some games
demand users to utilize its functions that require intellectual attribution such as focusing abilty
, reaction time and short-term memory to succesfully
implement the entertainment and main purpose of the game
.While
video
games
may possibly offer an opportunity to practice one's mental exercise, There are still a few setbacks to must consider. For example, the one can be addicted to playing video
games
due to its entertaining and trait of stimulation of releasing a satisfaction feeling. Specifically, for teens and youths
, they are most likely to get influanced
by external factors from since they are in their critical stage of bialogical
growth
which is puberty. Moreover, as people enjoying
games
more there
is extremely
high chance of getting agitated by enviousness from adolescents. Furthermore, owing to the release of ultra violet
ray
, which is detrimental to eye health from screen
, of digital devices, modern people who are not older than twenty one
became
dependant
on the eyeglasses.To sum up,
video
games
are known for its
entertainment, function to trigger satisfaction, and making people able to get short-access to improve their intellectual performance. There are still both positive and negative consequences for youths
results from video
games
. While they utilize it for better outcome, it's
highly required to consider the few or even more setbacks of it.