IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
27 Jun 24, 10:11
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence in some parts. Grammar and vocabulary usage need improvement, and the essay should be more formal and structured to enhance readability and logical flow.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 4.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 49 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 14 | |
| Lexical resource | 24 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Question
Multicultural societies face significant challenges when it comes to integrating diverse cultures. These challenges can lead to social fragmentation and misunderstandings among different cultural groups.
What are the main challenges of cultural integration in multicultural societies and how can these issues be addressed?
#Culture
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:346
Paragraphs:6
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
used
to practised our own culture
and tradition according to our religions
. Due to which
many social conflicts used
to be happen
in the name of religions
. With regards to
this , i
am going to mention
several challenges that the societyused
to face along with it's
solution in the given essay.To begin with, different
religions
have different aspects, social norms and values. One of the major challenges is that there will be lack of unity. To illustrate, if muslims
and hindu
people are living in a single community and if theri
perception for each other mythology is negative then
it may creates
a distance between them or may leads to war. For instance, In India there was a huge war between hindu
and muslim
. They used
kill each other in order to pove
that their religion
is superior among them.Missing Linking Devices
religion
and culture
used
to discuss that their god's
are almighty. Now clearification
with examples, Muslim says that their god'sMissing Linking Devices
(
prohphet
muhhamad
) is the creator of this universe , Hindu have a perception of that our
religion
is the oldest one so human civilization began from our
religion
and
christian
have
a
opinion
tha
jesus christ
is superior of all among them.
On the other hand, we need to minimize the challenges . It does not matter whose
religion
and culture
and culture
is superior. It only matters how we goona
maintain this culture
and tradition which was discovered by our ancestors
that's
our responsibility. we
need to maintain the unity by developing the feeling of brotherhood.To conclude, May be we all are different from the
prespectives
of culture
but
we all belongs
to same class which is human. All the people have the red colour of blood , body is made up of flesh and bone . All humans are destinated
to die therefore, we should live together by maintaining peace and harmony.