IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
05 Jul 24, 08:38
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in argumentation and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but could be improved for better clarity and sophistication.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 19 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 4 | |
| Lexical resource | 7 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Question
Adequate sleep is essential for good health and well-being, yet many people in modern societies do not get enough sleep. This raises questions about the societal values placed on sleep.
To what extent do you agree or disagree that society undervalues the importance of sleep?
#Health
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:247
Paragraphs:4
Word Count Requirement
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
suggest
, the current young population undervalues the importance of sleep
, and I fully agree with this statement.In my opinion, understanding the value of
sleep
and being able to achieve that amount of sleep
is a whole other story
. As we enter this generation with the surge of new technology, the current society finds it hard
to keep up! While it is understood that technology is supposed to make our daily lives much easier, it has also made the working market much more competitive. Due to this rise of competition, the current population has to work twice as hard
to even be able to secure a job.The stress of not being replaced by technology is oddly the reason why
sleep
is undervalued. It is the mindset that we either make full use of our 24 hours
or we snooze and lose. Majority
of the working class are working part time
, whether it be another job or monitoring their investments, which does take up another 6 hours out of the day. Hence, there is truly not enough time for them to get the full 8 hours of sleep
which is recommended.Therefore, it is true that society now undervalues the importance of
sleep
in order to live a balanced lifestyle. However, as the saying "prevention is better than cure" goes, it seems that what the society should truly focus on is getting enough sleep
and not overworking our bodies before it is too late.