IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
14 Jul 24, 06:26
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task well but contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are generally good, but some ideas could be more logically developed and connected. Vocabulary is varied but sometimes inaccurately used.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 26 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 12 | |
| Lexical resource | 6 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
A lack of transparency in how government funds are spent can lead to inefficiencies and corruption.
What are the problems associated with non-transparent government spending and how can transparency be improved?
#Government Spending
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:352
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
government
budget consists virtually of tax revenue, how it is spent is always a topic of interest among the masses. A lack of transparency in this process can take a tool on the trust of ordinary population and breed corruption, therefore, need to be addressed immediately by stricter observation and regulations from both authorities and citizens.An obscure process of fiscal expenditure can do a serious disservice to the
government
and the nationals as a whole. On the national scale, it creates an environment which is conducive to negative bureaucracy such as squandering public purse on private purpose, which is so common in underdeveloping
countries where the State Audit is sadly lacking. This is the culprit of serious budget deficits and may even lead to the collapse of that nation in economics hardship.Moreover, this also deals a mortal blow on the public trust in the authority and may cause extremist views and reactionary regime against the
government
to take root, leading to social unrest.
On grander
scale, a non-transparent budgetary spending potentially undermine
international perception of that country, which may results
in far-reaching detrimental repercussions.This can be mitigated by taking several feasible solutions with
shere
unwavering determination. For one, it is imperative that a stringent law on how governmental coffer is spent is implemented and issued to the public. Any party members irrespective of social status who violate the law should be sentenced to appropriate punishment in order to serve as deterrent
. A clearer set of rule
aside, establishing oversight
board such as better
audit department is vital and citizen
should also be entitled to observe how government
spend
the money. As these supervisation
may ensure that the government
fund does not cater to selfish individuals. By adopting these measure, the problems might be successfully dealt with, making way for a sustainable and proper national development.In conclusion, although the lack of transparency in governmental spending is hazardous, it is not without solutions. With better law and regulation and more people to supervise the action of governmental officials, a country can be free of negative
bereautic
action.