IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
22 Feb 25, 15:10
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task by identifying causes and solutions for racial discrimination, but lacks depth in idea development and coherence. Grammar errors and limited vocabulary range affect clarity and precision.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 27 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 8 | |
| Lexical resource | 11 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Writing Task
#Society
#Problem / Solution
Racial discrimination continues to affect numerous societies, limiting the potential for social harmony and progress.
What are the primary causes of racial discrimination in society, and what steps can be taken to combat it?
Submitted Answer
Words303|Paragraphs4
English:
Global Issues:
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
based
on their race
. This is a serious issue that can lead to damaging and impairment of societies. This essay will not only explore the main causes of this immanent problem, it will also discuss potenial
solutions to tackle it.Firstly, the
lackage
of prohibiting laws is one of the root causes of racism
. In some regions, individuals often feel free to publicly judge others with no limitation because they do not fear any consequences. This increases the hatered
among the different groups of the society. Moreover, there are some shamfull
acts done by minor groups, claiming to represent their whole race
, that contributes
to more hate between the different races
living in the same place. For instance, crimes might be committed be few individuals in the name of certain
race
, such as
violence incidents committed recently by some african
americans
towards the police force. These minor individual acts negatively affects
the social harmony and promotes
racism
.On the other hand, there could be multiple resolutions to
this
issues, such as
advocacy and implementing strict laws. Educating the members of the society about the importance of accepting each other's differences and embracing diversity can be a game-changer in this case. Governments should invest more in awarness
campaigns on the TV and the social media promoting acceptance and empowering diversity. This would only lead to more cohesive communities around the world. In addition, introducing stricter regulations that criminalise discriminative acts is a must. These laws, if introduced, should significantly deter people from practing
racism
as they might face serious punishments such as
imprisonment.In conclusion,
Racism
remains an urgent concern in today's world. While there might be various reasons for it, it must be combated by advocacy and creating a punishment system towards
racists.