IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
28 Jul 24, 21:16
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The essay addresses the question but lacks depth and clarity in its arguments. Grammar and vocabulary usage are basic, and there are issues with coherence and cohesion, making the essay difficult to follow at times.

Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors23
Grammatical range and accuracy4
Lexical resource9
Coherence & cohesion6
Task response4
Question
Adoption can present unique challenges both for the adopted children and their families, particularly when it comes to societal acceptance.
What are the main issues faced by families who adopt children, and how can societal acceptance and support be enhanced?
#Family
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:257
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
Adoption can be quite a difficult situation for the
child
and the
family
who took the adaptation, especially from a societal
point of view
. I believe it can be solved by following a few steps in resolving the problem.
The main concern in
adopting
a
child
is that they have to be acknowledged by being given proper care and guidance in both personal and financial situations. This can be improved by joining the
child
in a good school, respecting their aims and goals as well as supporting them.
My parents usually
don't
show much interest in their biological offspring, somehow it makes it more difficult for the
adopted
child
to put their thoughts and interests as it is a weird and awkward position for him/her to get the same kind of bond with their
adopted
family
.
On the other hand, there will be so much societal pressure on the
family
itself to please everyone with the idea of adoption because most individuals find it
hard
to accept the fact of believing the importance of
people
's mindset to approve of the narrow thinking as most of them have this idea of being conservative and not excepting
people
who belong to a different community.
To solve the
problems
people
can make sure that they set certain boundaries to avoid
people
's perspective of negative criticism and follow one's heart so that the
adopted
child
can be
adopted
into the
family
. Furthermore, parents can become open-minded to the
children
ambitions rather than deciding on
their
.