IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7
IELTS Essay Sample Band 7
7.0
Overall Score
13 Aug 24, 02:40
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Overall Feedback
The essay provides a clear opinion and relevant examples, but it lacks depth in idea development and has some grammatical inaccuracies. Improved coherence and more varied vocabulary would enhance the overall quality.
| Overall score | 7.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 7.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 7.0 | |
| Task response | 7.0 |
| Total Errors | 20 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 3 | |
| Lexical resource | 10 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
As cities grow, they offer more social opportunities and amenities but can also lead to weaker community bonds as people become more individualistic.
Do you agree or disagree that urbanization has more of a negative impact on community social bonds than it has benefits through increased social opportunities?
#Urbanization
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:283
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Across the globe,
cities
are expanding to provide
better
opportunities and public services for its citizens. As people
move in search of a better
life
, they often become self-sufficent
and independent as they are forced to rely less on their communities
. In this essay, I will discuss
why urbanisation can have a detrimental impact on societal relationships despite providing
better
amenities and provide
evidence to support this matter.One of the main arguments against urbanism is that it leads to the exodus of many
people
in search of a better
life
. However, with the rise in migration, communities
are lost as people
are reluctant to create relationships with immigrants. In a city
such as New York, for instance, it is normal for people
from the same townhouse
to not recognise the neighbours from the complex. This creates a sense of mistrust and reluctancy
to join society
as it is difficult to develop new bonds. Therefore, the growth of cities
can negatively impact a highly social community
.Conversely, the growth of establishments in
cities
can bring forth a significant number of benefits to society. As more and more people
move to cities
, individuals from different walks of life
, experiences and careers join to serve these cities
. Doctors, lawyers and educators, for instance, join the workforce and can improve public services leading to a better
quality of life
and overall satisfaction among citizens. These advantages are all related to the expansion of urban areas.To conclude, the development of urban regions
provides
the overwhelming majority with a better
life
although
it can weaken society bonds. Despite that, I believe expanding urban communities
positively contributes to better
cities
as it leads to a diverse environment.