IELTS Writing Academic Checker - Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Band 5.5 | IELTS Writing Academic Report Sample Band 5.5 (Academic Training)
5.5
Overall Score
03 Mar 25, 16:08
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Overall Feedback
The response provides a basic comparison of employment sectors in Sydney and Melbourne, but contains several grammatical errors and lacks clarity in some parts. The vocabulary is adequate but could be more varied, and the coherence and cohesion could be improved with better organization and linking phrases.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 14 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 7 | |
| Lexical resource | 1 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 3 |
Writing Task
#Employment Sectors
#Pie Chart
Discuss the employment sectors in Sydney and Melbourne in 2020, as depicted in the pie charts.
Summarize the main features of the employment sectors in both cities.
Compare and contrast the sector distributions.
Identify any notable differences or similarities.
Sydney
Melbourne
Submitted Answer
Words140|Paragraphs4
English:
Global Issues:
Word Count Requirement
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Logical Flow
Bullet Point Missing or Incomplete
The pie charts illustrated of how different people
choosing
an employment sectors
between Sydney and Melbourne.Overall, it can be seen that in
Sydney
healthcare was the highest of employment sectors, while construction was the lowest one. In comparison, healthcare and fiancé in Melbourne were became
the largest in employment sectors and the least was construction
same as in Sydney.Technology was accounted for 25% of employment sectors in Sydney and experienced a
gradually decrease
to 20% in Melbourne. In 2020, healthcare was approximately around 30% in Sydney and had a slight drop of 5% in Melbourne .During the period, finance and education were made up for 20% and 15% in Sydney respectively, and these employment sectors rose to 25% and 20% of Melbourne. However, construction in Sydney as well as in Melbourne was 10% remain unchanged throughout the period.