IELTS Writing Academic Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Writing Academic Report Sample Band 5 (Academic Training)

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09 Apr 25, 07:20

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The response provides a basic overview of the employment sectors in Tokyo and Seoul, but lacks clarity and precision in language. Grammatical errors and awkward phrasing affect coherence, while the task achievement is limited by insufficient detail and analysis of the data.

Overall score	5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy	5.0
Lexical resource	5.0
Coherence & cohesion	5.0
Task response	5.0

Writing Task

#Employment Sectors

#Pie Chart

Examine the employment sectors in Tokyo and Seoul in 2021, as shown in the pie charts.

Outline the key features of each pie chart.

Compare the employment sector distributions between Tokyo and Seoul.

Highlight any significant trends or differences.

Seoul

Tokyo

Submitted Answer

Words174|Paragraphs3

English:

Global Issues:

Readability

Coherence

Cohesion

Vocabulary Usage

Grammar Range

Logical Flow

Bullet Point Missing or Incomplete

The pie chart provides information in different job industries based in two Cities, Namely, Tokyo and Seoul in 2021.

Overall, The manufacturing is the top industry for both cities, followed by, the healthcare, and the third is the finance, and the fourth is the education and lowest in the employment sector for two cities is the retail industry.

To begin with, the highest in the percentage is the manufacturing, In which, the percentage for Tokyo is 40% and 35% for Seoul. The Seoul, had 25% in the healthcare which is the second to the highest in the percentage. Whereas, the Tokyo was 20%. The finance, is the third which is 15% for Tokyo, and 20 for Seoul. The fourth place in the job sector is the education, In which, the Tokyo was 15% and Seoul is 10%. Finally, the lowest in given pie chart is the

retail

which is 10% for the Tokyo. Whereas, 10% for the retail. It can

observed

that both Tokyo and Seoul provided an identical percentage for the retail sector.