IELTS Writing Academic Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Writing Academic Report Sample Band 6 (Academic Training)

6.0
Overall Score
13 Nov 24, 16:44
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Overall Feedback

The response provides a general overview of employment trends but contains inaccuracies in data interpretation and lacks clarity in some descriptions. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate, though there are occasional errors and limited variety in sentence structures.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors8
Grammatical range and accuracy2
Lexical resource1
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response2
Question
Analyze the employment trends in the manufacturing sector in the United States, China, India, and Brazil from 2000 to 2015.
Describe the overall trends for each country.
Highlight any significant fluctuations.
Compare the employment patterns among the countries.
#Employment Sectors
#Line Chart
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:220
Paragraphs:3
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Logical Flow
Bullet Point Missing or Incomplete
The line graph illustrates the employment rates in the manufacturing industry in four countries: United States, China, India, and Brazil from 2000 to 2015. Overall, all countries have shown an increase in their rates over the given period, except the United States.
The employment pattern in
china
is reflecting a growth from 45 in 2000 to just above 55 in 2005, then just below 65 in 2010. And finally at 70 in 2015, overall increasing by 25. Furthermore, China leads first in the greatest increase and with the highest rate. Similarly, both India and Brazil have experienced a rise in their trends, with India starting at 25 in 2000, slightly above 30 in 2005, then around 30 in 2010, and finally just above 40 in 2015. This reflects an almost gradual, stable increase by 15-20. Whereas Brazil prominently demonstrates the only steady gradual increase of all, beginning with 30 in 2000 and peaking at 40 in 2015.
On the other hand, the United States shows a decline in its employment direction, as it consists of 55 in 2000, almost 50 in 2005, subtly below 45 in 2010, and at around 40 in 2015. This indicates a decrease of 15. Besides this, Brazil and India are the two countries to behave correspondingly, increasing gradually and by around the same amount.

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