IELTS Writing Academic Checker - Sample Band 7

IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Band 7 | IELTS Writing Academic Report Sample Band 7 (Academic Training)

7.0
Overall Score
27 Nov 24, 14:27
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Overall Feedback

The response effectively describes the trends in obesity rates across the four countries, with accurate data representation. However, minor grammatical errors and limited lexical variety slightly affect the overall quality.
Overall score7.0
Grammatical range and accuracy7.0
Lexical resource7.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors9
Grammatical range and accuracy2
Lexical resource3
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response1
Question
Analyze the changes in the obesity rate (%) in the USA, Canada, Germany, and Japan from 2005 to 2015.
Describe the overall trends for each country.
Highlight any years where significant changes occurred.
Compare the obesity rates between the countries.
#Health and Fitness
#Line Chart
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:224
Paragraphs:4
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Logical Flow
The graph illustrates the variations in the obesity rate (%) from 2005 to 2015, in four countries: the USA, Canada, Germany, and Japan. Overall, it is evident that the corpulence scale has
increased
in all countries over the given period, despite the fluctuations it experienced.
The USA stands out as the country with the highest obesity rate over the ten-year span, which also
demostrates
starting at 30 in 2005 and extending to 38 in 2015, which indicates an increase of 8. Additionally, it is also the only country that has faced fluctuations over the years; In 2009, it dropped to 32 from 33, and in 2013, it decreased to 35 from 36. Meanwhile, Canada saw growth from 2005 to 2015, in its proportion of excessively overweight individuals, rising from 25 to 33.
Similarly, Germany's ratio of those affected by obesity escalated by 8, beginning at 22 in 2005, and ending at 30 in 2015. On the other hand, the corpulence rate in Japan has gradually
increased
from 2005 to 2015 just by 4, starting at 10, and finishing at 14. In addition, it also records the lowest obesity rate over the given period.
In conclusion, it is notable that all countries have similarly
increased
by 8 over the years, except for
Japan
it has only
increased
by 4, reflecting the lowest increase experienced.

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