IELTS Writing Academic Checker - Sample Band 7
IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Band 7 | IELTS Writing Academic Report Sample Band 7 (Academic Training)
7.0
Overall Score
01 Dec 24, 16:51
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Overall Feedback
The response effectively compares employment sectors in New York and Los Angeles, accurately reflecting the data. However, minor grammatical errors and occasional awkward phrasing slightly affect clarity and coherence.
| Overall score | 7.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 7.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 7.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 7.0 | |
| Task response | 7.0 |
| Total Errors | 7 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 2 | |
| Lexical resource | 1 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 1 |
Question
New York
Los Angeles
Compare the employment sectors in New York and Los Angeles in 2023, as shown in the pie charts.
Summarize the main features of each pie chart.
Compare the employment sector distributions between the two cities.
Highlight any significant differences or similarities.
#Employment Sectors
#Pie Chart
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:259
Paragraphs:4
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Logical Flow
The graph illustrates the percentages of the employment sectors in 2023 in New York and Los Angeles. Overall, there are five economic sectors distributed: Technology, finance, healthcare, education, and hospitality. This essay will analyse and compare the data reflected in the pie charts for each city.
Technology stands out as the most prominent sector in New York, comprising a big percentage, 30%, of the whole employment industry. However, in Los Angeles, it equates with the finance sector, with a percentage of 25%. This indicates that half of the population in Los Angeles are working in the Technology and Finance fields. Although the finance sector is equally ranked first with the technology segment, it places third in New York with a percentage of 20%, reflecting a 5% difference from Los Angeles.
Meanwhile, the healthcare sector in New York, comprises a quarter of the entire economic sector, 25%, while in Los Angeles, it ranks second with a percentage of 20%.
Furthermore, only 15% of the inhabitants in New York have jobs in the education industry. Additionally, in Los Angeles, it displays a 5% decrease in its share, constituting the lowest percentage, 10%, of the total of the employment sector. In contrast, hospitality holds the second place in Los Angeles, with a percentage of 20%, which equates with the healthcare sector. While, in New York, it shows a 10% decline in its proportion to the whole employment segment, recording the smallest percentage, 10%, in New York. This suggests that double the amount of individuals
works
in the hospitality sector in Los Angeles.