IELTS Writing Academic Checker - Sample Band 8
IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Band 8 | IELTS Writing Academic Report Sample Band 8 (Academic Training)
8.0
Overall Score
27 Nov 24, 14:45
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Overall Feedback
The response effectively describes the trends in obesity rates across the four countries, using accurate data and clear comparisons. While the grammar and vocabulary are strong, a slightly wider range of sentence structures could enhance the overall coherence and cohesion.
| Overall score | 8.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 8.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 8.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 8.0 | |
| Task response | 8.0 |
| Total Errors | 5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 1 | |
| Lexical resource | 1 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 2 | |
| Task response | 1 |
Question
Analyze the changes in the obesity rate (%) in the USA, Canada, Germany, and Japan from 2005 to 2015.
Describe the overall trends for each country.
Highlight any years where significant changes occurred.
Compare the obesity rates between the countries.
#Health and Fitness
#Line Chart
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:198
Paragraphs:4
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Logical Flow
The graph illustrates the changes in obesity rates (%) from 2005 to 2015 in four countries: the USA, Canada, Germany, and Japan. Overall, the data shows an upward trend in obesity rates across all countries over the given period, despite some fluctuations.
The USA consistently has the highest obesity rate throughout the ten-year span, starting at 30% in 2005 and rising to 38% in 2015, marking an increase of 8 percentage points. Notably, the USA is the only country that experienced fluctuations; for instance, the rate dropped to 32% in 2009 from 33% and decreased to 35% in 2013 from 36%.
Canada also experienced growth in its obesity rate, increasing from 25% in 2005 to 33% in 2015. Similarly, Germany saw an 8 percentage point rise, beginning at 22% in 2005 and reaching 30% by 2015. In contrast, Japan's obesity rate increased more modestly, from 10% to 14% over the same period, maintaining the lowest rate among the countries.
In conclusion, while the USA, Canada, and Germany all saw significant increases of 8 percentage points in obesity rates, Japan's rate grew by only 4 percentage points, reflecting the smallest increase and the lowest overall obesity rate.