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IELTS Writing Academic Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Writing Academic Report Sample Band 6 (Academic Training)

6.0
Overall Score
05 Apr 25, 04:41
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Overall Feedback

The response provides a clear overview of the data, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. The coherence and cohesion are adequate, but the lexical range is limited, and the task achievement could be improved by addressing all aspects of the task more thoroughly.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors11
Grammatical range and accuracy2
Lexical resource4
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response2

Writing Task

#Retail and E-commerce
#Bar Chart
The bar chart depicts the proportion of retail sales through mobile devices in various Asian countries in 2021.
Describe the proportion of mobile retail sales in each country.
Compare the data across the different countries.
Identify any countries with exceptionally high or low figures.

Submitted Answer

Words170|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Logical Flow
Bullet Point Missing or Incomplete
The bar charts provide information on the percentage of sales in mobile devices for five different countries in Asia, namely, South Korea, Indonesia, Japan, India, Vietnam. The given data provided in the year 2021.
Overall, the leading in the percentage of mobile sales is South Korea, and the second is Indonesia, and the third is Japan, and the fourth is India and the least in the bar charts is Vietnam.
To begin with, South Korea, had the most number of sales in five countries, which is 45%, followed by, Indonesia, which is 40% and 5%
diffrences
with South Korea. The third in the data is Japan, which is 35%, Whereas, the sales in India is 30% and 5%
diffrences
in Japan. The least in the sales of cellular devices is Vietnam, which is only 25%.
In conclusion, It can be seen that South Korea had the highest sales in the given charts in five countries in Asia,
folowed
by, Indonesia, Japan, India and
the the
lowest in sales is Vietnam.

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