IELTS Writing Academic Checker - Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Band 5.5 | IELTS Writing Academic Report Sample Band 5.5 (Academic Training)
5.5
Overall Score
20 Oct 24, 12:13
Want to practice this question?
Go to IELTS Writing Academic Checker
Overall Feedback
The response provides a general overview of the data but lacks precision in data interpretation and contains several grammatical errors. Improved coherence and more accurate data referencing would enhance the overall quality of the answer.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 21 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 11 | |
| Lexical resource | 3 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5 | |
| Task response | 2 |
Question
Describe the bar chart showing the percentage of people participating in various fitness activities in four different cities.
Identify the city with the highest participation in each activity.
Discuss any noticeable trends or patterns.
Compare and contrast the participation rates between the cities.
#Health and Fitness
#Bar Chart
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:269
Paragraphs:7
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Logical Flow
Bullet Point Missing or Incomplete
The bar chart illustrates
percentage
of people participating in various fitness activities-Running, Swimming, Cycling and Yoga in four cities-New York, London, Tokyo and Sydney.Overall, the data indicates that all categories trends varied notably from city to city, with others significantly outpacing other categories.
Particularly
the running sector, accounted for a notable rate across all states, while other sports
for example Yoga, comprised a much smaller share.Running figures were particularly striking, nearly 40% in Tokyo, which is also
equavalent
to the highest possible rate
in
activity engagement
amongst
participants, conversely it did not perform well in
Sydney
accounting
approximately
23%, which was a much smaller portion in all four countries.
The swimming category followed closely, at around 30% in Sydney, 25% in Tokyo, 20% in New York securing second position in all three states
, however
it did not perform well in London, where it scored third to Cycling, by a minor difference of around 5%.
In
Cycling
section, Sydney stood out, consuming nearly 30%, a substantial allocation, surpassing London, Tokyo and New York. Tokyo ranking third position accounting for nearly 18% exceeding New York with just 3%.Yoga was
the the
fourth-largest sport in New York, London and Tokyo
except for Sydney. In Tokyo Yoga yielded 15%, 12% in New York, 10% in London.In conclusion, while fitness participation allocation varies significantly across all four nations, with sectors like Yoga and Cycling showing markedly lower participation,it also highlights the critical importance of Swimming and Running categories in overall participation. Understanding these patterns is essential for managing sport allocation effectively, though future trends remain uncertain.