IELTS Writing Academic Checker - Sample Band 6
IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Writing Academic Report Sample Band 6 (Academic Training)
6.0
Overall Score
13 Mar 25, 18:46
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Overall Feedback
The response adequately describes the employment distribution across sectors in three Chinese cities, but contains several grammatical errors and lacks variety in sentence structures. The coherence and cohesion could be improved with better organization and clearer transitions between ideas.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 17 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6 | |
| Lexical resource | 5 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 2 |
Writing Task
#Employment Sectors
#Bar Chart
Describe the employment distribution across different sectors in three major cities in China for the year 2022.
Summarize the overall employment trends in each city.
Compare and contrast the employment sectors between the cities.
Identify any significant fluctuations or unique patterns.
Submitted Answer
Words117|Paragraphs2
English:
Global Issues:
Word Count Requirement
Paragraph Count Requirement
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Logical Flow
The bar chart compares the employment distribution across different sectors in three major cities of china in the year 2022. Overall,
services
sector had the highest employment distribution among the three cities and the least employment rate was in agriculture
sector in shanghai
.Looking into more details, a constant 50% rate of employment has been seen in service sector across the 3 cities. However, a fluctuating trend in distribution was seen in manufacturing sector in the order of highest shanghai approximate 40%,
guangzhou
with 30% and least Beijing with around 15%. A releavtively
low rate of employment distribution seen across the cities is agriculture
which had 20% rate in gungzhou
, 15% in beijing
and 10% in shanghai
.